She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
