and she was petting her beer can
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
