I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
