when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
More tranny stories later!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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