Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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