wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need water and some morals
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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