did you get engaged???
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
