I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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