I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
