Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
