maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
