My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
