We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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