I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
