I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
