If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
