remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
