i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
