therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
