I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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