your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
