Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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