soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
