i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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