saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
