i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
