guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
