You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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