I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize