I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
