Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize