I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize