I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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