You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
