Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
