white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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