why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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