i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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