I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
