good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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