...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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