I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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