I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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