I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
