Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
