Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
