If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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