so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize