She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
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