Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
