I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
