the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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