we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
