dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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