My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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