Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
