Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
did i just pee glitter
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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