he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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