Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
