Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
