is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have already put on my inside pants.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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