After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize