Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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