I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
