You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
