wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
