i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
