..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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