There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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