i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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