found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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