Fuck appropriateness.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
