I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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